The Results Are In

The American Apparel rummage sale was a bit of a bust. I came expecting a few cute finds for a pittance unique stuff that you won’t find in the store, as well as crazy cheap basics to stock up on. Obviously, I was dreaming. I walked away with a bag of stuff that I’m not really sure what to do with, now that I honestly evaluate my purchases. I’m a bit of a risk taker, style wise.

Which brings us to item #1- the cotton spandex jersey unitard (click photo for link). Now, my thinking was quite logical on this one. What could be more awesome than having your tank and leggings all in one piece? Easy, efficient, and the ruching on the tank part was really sweet to boot. However, what I did not contemplate was the functionality of the whole thing (first) and the fact that I can’t really imagine a case where I’d need white leggings (second). If you click on the link, you’ll see the white version, the one I purchased (it was either that or nude…) is a little see-through. Not so. But the problem remains (and this is true for any clever little dual purpose onesy type garment), when combined with certain situations, the fact that you have to remove your shirt in order to remove the bottom half of your outfit could be potentially very terrible.

For example, say you are in a nasty, cramped, stinky, sweaty port-o-lette at the county fair and you realize- in order to take care of business, you’ve got to remove your shirt(s). Not only have you no place to hang your purse, but now you’ve got to remove garments in a really disgusting environment. This could get ugly. See also- dirty bar bathrooms, many South American countries (where it is common practice not to flush “used paper” and instead place it in the waste bin beside the toilet, or, on the floor next to it), moments of…shall we say, excess “warmth” (ahem), and any other time where you just plain wish you’d chosen a shirt and pants, instead of this wonky one piece disaster. I rest my case. Buyer’s remorse? You betcha. Don’t fret, I paid $10. Any suggestions as to how I may implement this awkward thing into my wardrobe (and no, Halloween costume as cupid or 80’s workout coach does not count) are welcome and will probably be used.

I actually did pick up a couple of basic tanks and a nice long sleeve cotton dress in a coral color. I also nabbed one of these (how are my friends always so stylish and adorable? I mean really, couldn’t they stand to spare a bit?) in magenta and am equally as confused about what to pair it with. Ultimately, I end up looking like I’m on my way to an 80’s party or dressing the part of any number of Will Smith’s floosies circa Fresh Prince of Bel Air. Getting dressed is hard to do.

I’m still struggling with the constraints of my work dress code. I don’t have a real sense of style when it comes to this specific sort of dress, so I feel very bored with myself on a daily basis. It seems as though, when I do feel successful and exciting, it raises eyebrows and prompts perhaps a reprimand here and there. It’s a fine line. Perhaps my love for color is best kept to myself in this scenario.

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