Shards

 

“Civilians chopped down park trees, got buried in soccer fields, burned books and furniture, kept chickens on balconies, duct-taped their footwear, caught and ate pigeons, made makeshift stoves out of washing machines, grew mushrooms in basements, replaced broken windows with murky plastic, went nuts and jumped off buildings, drank rubbing alcohol diluted in chamomile tea until it was no longer flammable, rolled herbal tea cigarettes in toilet aper, suffered, hoped, waited, fucked. Authorities emptied the jails and mental institutions because they couldn’t provide for the inmates and patients. Thieves and murderers went back to their families. Lunatics walked around town doing funny things like comparing people to watermelons and sad things like freezing to death behind churches. Soldiers fought for ¬†all of them and for themselves. My father, a chemical engineer, got lucky and came up with a contraption that turned industrial fat into edible fat and got paid ten thousand German marks by a small business enterepreneur and war profiteer, which saved us. my mother ate just enough to survive, because she felt so guilty about not being able to quit smoking. She rationed her cigarettes as much s she could, walking aorund the apartment like a resltess ghost, playing her solitaire, counting seconds before the next one. SOmetimes my brother and I stole a cigarette when the pack was close to full and hid it somewhere in the apartment just to pull it out, unexpectedly, when she didn’t have any left, just to see her eyes light up for a moment. Later, it would break our hearts to see her fingering the wool of the large tapestry in the corridor, looking for our stash, her forefinger touching her lips, her eyes on fire. ”

 

Ismet Prcic was on OPB this morning as I drove in. His recount of the impetus for this novel was so compelling that I picked it up on my way home and am already elbow deep.

 

I love the transition from macro to micro, from very general ideas to¬†intimate personal accounts. I’m going to have a hard time leaving this book tonight. And probably also a hard time sleeping with this book on my mind.

 

 

Making time

Sometimes, life gets too busy. It happens in the blink of an eye. Months pass, seasons change, and before you know it the entire world has shifted- ever so slightly- and you’re wondering where the time went. When you finally come up for air, it’s not by choice but instead, because something has forced you to pause. Just a moment please.

As I’m sitting on the side of the road, waiting for husband to come get me all the way across town, I’m not worried. Yes the car overheated on the way to work. Yes the cabin filled with antifreeze smoke. Yes I had to push this seemingly light little car up an off ramp and down into a neighborhood. But people were helpful and the sun is shining. It’s caused me to stop for just a moment and remember that life is good right now and, in those oh so famous words, “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”

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New world

I feel a bit odd attempting to write an entire blog post on an iPhone, but if it will bring me back? It’s worth it. I’m on the other side of a digital divide and time is at a premium right now.

We are fully moved, not all the way in, but trying very hard to feel “at home”

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Salts are here. Spring, where are you?

Been quite occupied lately. I know it’s a vague and loaded statement, but I really think some wonderful things are about to happen.

A month ago, I made the executive decision to indulge in a heavenly three-hour napfest as my Saturday-to-myself activity. Not for a long time will I see that again.

Yesterday, I found myself in sleep-deprived zombie mode and even experienced a few minor hallucinations. Nothing serious and nothing that a quick thirty winks after work didn’t temporarily solve. Apologies to anyone I may have offended yesterday as I drifted in and out of reality. I was paying attention and what you say is important, I swear.

Four Solemn Years

It’s almost as if the universe knows I’m sad today. Pouring rain and puddles abound.

I’ll keep you with me at all times, dear brother. It pains me to think of the world you’re missing out on, but I know that mine is a very different life and that this place was far too painful for you to stay any longer.

Though it may not always be obvious, I know you’re around me and that I carry a little bit of everything you stood for wherever I go. It is in this way that I hope to keep your memory: safe and close to my heart, free and ready for anyone that needs you.

In our hearts and in our thoughts, we’ll never be far apart.

Thrifty

Our wedding plans are in full swing. The most exciting part so far has been all of the thrifting for bits and pieces. In the beginning, we said we would part with anything we didn’t absolutely need or have space for. But after having spent so much time and energy hunting these things down- and falling in love with each and every one of them in my own way- I’m having a hard time imagining them gone.

So I’ve reasoned that they won’t be leaving for good, but instead adopted by friends and family whom I know will truly adore them. I’ve already picked out recipients for quite a few of the pieces.

The hardest thing to find so far? Cake stands. I have yet to see a single one.

This weekend will again be filled with wedding fun. I’m booked clear in to August and our first truly free weekend will come with our honeymoon. But I’m not complaining. I’m having way too much fun with all of this. In another life, I think I was a collector, or an antique shop curator. Perhaps even a prop stylist. I swear, I could do this as a second job!

Have a lovely weekend xoxo.

Time Traveler

Quite obviously, I’ve fallen in with the iPhone crowd. Skeptical at first, I’m very pleased with the image quality this little thing produces. Probably the most advanced digital camera I’ve ever owned- and its real purpose is to make phone calls!

I’ve already become hopelessly re-addicted to Bookworm, and Bejeweled (last night I noticed my score has reached over one million points; the reluctant gamer in me is doing a conservative job of not rubbing that in Matt’s face). Almost instantly, I obtained 8mm, so I could shoot little home movies as well. Though I’m almost always rooted in past and tradition, this little gadget is giving me a reason to love technology.

I also caved and purchased the Hipstamatic app. When images from this app first started showing up on facebook and flickr, I was almost bitter. I worried it took away from the original experience of film and I knew that if I got my hands on an iPhone and added such an app, it would completely change the way I interact with photography. So far, not much has changed. I still take quite a few film photographs, but I’m also capable of sharing things instantly with family and friends. I do like that quite a bit.

What are some other apps that you can’t live without (games, organizers, I’m nearly an App virgin!)?